Trump’s Covid-19 Cocktail* (Guaranteed to cure your quarantine blues!)

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Guest Post from Loren Davidson

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 oz Citrus Meadows Lysol disinfectant spray (I like that one, but any of the flavors will do. The Cherry Blossom and Pomegranate is quite nice, or if you’d like something more exotic, try the Jasmine and Rain variety.)
  • 1/2 – 3/4 oz lemon flavored Clorox (again, try different scents; see which one works for you!)
  • Then for that woodsy flavor and lovely color; just a soupçon of Pine-Sol!
  • Shake vigorously with plenty of ice and strain into a chilled martini glass
  • Garnish with a Tide pod

As you know, I’m more of the industrial type, so I like something with a little more city scent.  So instead of the Pine-Sol, I found CLR works well (calcium lime and rust remover), but if you happen to have an auto parts store near you, I found that any STP product works well.

I myself prefer the carburetor and fuel injection cleaner. Lucas Oil has some fine products, too, but, unfortunately, they’re all clear colored.  So, for a nice chartreuse color, a little Prestone antifreeze will do the trick, or if you prefer a nice mauve, ATF fluid (for those of you not in the know, automatic transmission fluid).

And since you’re in the auto parts store anyway, garnish with a pine tree air freshener. It has a much more chemical pine scent then Pine-Sol and a lovely texture when you chew on it.

Drink under a tanning light!

Or, if you have one near you, a concentrated thermal solar plant!

Or, if you have one of those nerdy friends, their solar oven!

Also, don’t forget! Share a lollipop for Trump day is coming up, just around the corner! I’m so excited!!! Be sure to bring plenty of lollipops to share! We’re going to try to set a record for how many people can share a lollipop and how many lollipops get shared!

Save the date!

*Loren Davidson is a comedian/contractor from Los Angeles. He is neither a doctor or a chef. The above recipe is not to be taken seriously in any way!

About laledavidson

My novel Blue Woman Burning will be published by Running Wild Press in the summer of 2021" "In the cold descending breeze of the Altiplano between Chile and Bolivia, Fallon’s narcissistic mother bursts into flames before her family’s eyes. The inexplicable nature of their loss marks each family member in a different way. For Fallon it is the first step toward adulthood. For her older brother, it is a blow he never recovers from. Thirteen years later, Fallon is about to conquer self-doubt and apply to medical school, when another calamity sends her reeling. The event prompts a cross country search for a truth worth living for. What she discovers changes everything." My stories have appeared in The Collagist, Big Lucks, and Eclectica, among others. I was a finalist for the Franz Kafka Award issued by Doctor T.J. Eckleburg Review as well as the Black Lawrence Chapbook Contest of 2015 and the Talking Writing Award for humorous writing advice. My story “The Opal Maker” was named Wigleaf top 50 (Very) Short Stories of 2015. I am a distinguished professor of writing and recipient of the Chancellor's Award for Excellence in Creative Activity. My opinions are mine alone and do not represent the opinions anyone with whom I am affiliated.

One response »

  1. So funny it’s sad; so sad it’s funny. *STUDYING FROM HOME: *

    – *Tutoring schedules for the following disciplines are available online at sunyacc.edu/academics/tutoring : Business Resource Center; Center for Reading and Writing (CRW); English; Foreign Language; Media Arts; Math, Engineering and Computer Science (MECS); Science.* – *Online tutoring is also available through STAR-NY (www.sunyacc.edu/star-ny ), Sunday through Thursday, 7:00 p.m. through midnight.* – *The Library is providing remote services via chat (library.sunyacc.edu ), text message (518-203-1073) and email (librarian@sunyacc.edu ). * – *For students needing technical assistance, please contact help@sunyacc.edu .* – *Or call toll-free 866-977-1445.* – *Visit http://www.sunyacc.edu/coronavirus for ongoing updates.*

    *P. Kathleen McCoy, Ph.D. | Professor of English* SUNY Adirondack | Dearlove 110 | 640 Bay Road | Queensbury, NY 12804 Phone (518) 743-2229 | Fax (518) 745-1442

    On Sun, Apr 26, 2020 at 5:17 PM A Writing Life: Lâle Davidson wrote:

    > laledavidson posted: ” Guest Post from Loren Davidson Ingredients: 1 1/2 > oz Citrus Meadows Lysol disinfectant spray (I like that one, but any of the > flavors will do. The Cherry Blossom and Pomegranate is quite nice, or if > you’d like something more exotic, try the” >

    Like

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