Guest Post from Loren Davidson
Ingredients:
- 1 1/2 oz Citrus Meadows Lysol disinfectant spray (I like that one, but any of the flavors will do. The Cherry Blossom and Pomegranate is quite nice, or if you’d like something more exotic, try the Jasmine and Rain variety.)
- 1/2 – 3/4 oz lemon flavored Clorox (again, try different scents; see which one works for you!)
- Then for that woodsy flavor and lovely color; just a soupçon of Pine-Sol!
- Shake vigorously with plenty of ice and strain into a chilled martini glass
- Garnish with a Tide pod
As you know, I’m more of the industrial type, so I like something with a little more city scent. So instead of the Pine-Sol, I found CLR works well (calcium lime and rust remover), but if you happen to have an auto parts store near you, I found that any STP product works well.
I myself prefer the carburetor and fuel injection cleaner. Lucas Oil has some fine products, too, but, unfortunately, they’re all clear colored. So, for a nice chartreuse color, a little Prestone antifreeze will do the trick, or if you prefer a nice mauve, ATF fluid (for those of you not in the know, automatic transmission fluid).
And since you’re in the auto parts store anyway, garnish with a pine tree air freshener. It has a much more chemical pine scent then Pine-Sol and a lovely texture when you chew on it.
Drink under a tanning light!
Or, if you have one near you, a concentrated thermal solar plant!
Or, if you have one of those nerdy friends, their solar oven!
Also, don’t forget! Share a lollipop for Trump day is coming up, just around the corner! I’m so excited!!! Be sure to bring plenty of lollipops to share! We’re going to try to set a record for how many people can share a lollipop and how many lollipops get shared!
Save the date!
*Loren Davidson is a comedian/contractor from Los Angeles. He is neither a doctor or a chef. The above recipe is not to be taken seriously in any way!