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Quest for the Holy Grail of Jacket Copy

The feedback on my jacket copy from my last post was mixed, with some saying I wasn’t getting at the core of the conflict. I was following the advice of The Manuscript Doctors, trying to show the poetry of the book. So, after reading many more examples, including Amore Towles’s The Lincoln Highway and South Pole Station, I determined that the key structure seemed to be character goal followed by obstacle. So here’s another crack at it. Let me know what you think in the comments, below. I’m open to constructive criticism.

Two-thousand-year-old redwoods used to cloak the California coast like bear fur. When Logan was a child and slept high in the branches of his favorite five-hundred-year-old redwood, Uuma, he used to hear her speak. For years, he and his father fought to save the few ancient trees that remain, and his father died in the attempt. Now Logan can’t hear the trees anymore.

To make matters worse, billionaire Atlas Jamison stages a hostile takeover of Pacific Lumber and triples the cutting rate, reducing the largest and most ancient trees to lawn furniture with heart-stopping speed.

Tree lovers from all over the world are resorting to ever more desperate measures to save trees and planet, but Jamison seems unstoppable, until his daughter shows up.

Can Logan overcome his grief and rage to teach Diana to hear the voices of the trees – and stop her father’s destruction?

Against the Grain is based on the true story of violent clashes in Northern California between corporate raiders, loggers, and activists during Redwood Summer 1990. Action-packed yet mystical, it asks what it will take to wake humans up – violence, loss, or love?

Also– which cover do you like better? Assuming some other more painterly affect on the left.